My youngest
son is in first grade this year. The other day his teacher told me she had
something she wanted to share with me. Immediately I thought, oh boy let’s hope
it’s not too embarrassing. He’s a good kid, but he’s six years old so you know
how that can go. She went on to tell me that they had been discussing heroes in
class that morning. She decided to go around the room and ask each child who
their hero is. Many of the kids named their firefighter father, police mom, nurse
mom, veteran grandpa, and even some superheroes. When she got to my son she
expected him to say my husband- after all, he is a firefighter. Instead he
quickly replied, “My mom is my hero because she makes me feel safe and happy.”
There I stood crying in front of my son’s teacher not because it made me sad,
but because my son expressed what I have always hoped my children know. At the
end of every day no matter how long or difficult the day was, I hope that my
children feel loved. I hope they feel safe and I most certainly hope they feel
happy.
After all
that is what family is right? Family is both our armor and our cocoon from the
rest of the world. Family is never perfect. Not ever. Family is messy, but it’s
a beautiful kind of mess. Family is a big old mess of a morning. It is a one
kid can’t find a shoe, dad ran over the garbage pail on his rush off to work,
the dog stepped in the only mud puddle in the yard, and the other kid let him
back in the house kind of morning. Family is mom getting her kids onto the
school bus and coming back into the house to cry into her coffee about the
morning she wishes she could do over. Family is the kids running off the bus in
the afternoon with big smiles and hugs as if the morning is but only a blip in
time on their memory, because it is.
Family is
the ups and the downs. Family is dedicated to celebrating the ups and finding
our way out from the downs. Family is full of surprises. Some are good and some
are not. Family is sitting in a waiting room for six hours while your husband
undergoes open heart surgery and praying to God that if this all works out you
will most certainly be a better person, because you just can’t even begin to
imagine your life without that man. Family is holding the hand of your dying
Grandmother because she has done it for you from the time you were a little
girl in pigtails until the day you had your very own child. Family is jumping
for joy when your sister tells you she’s having a baby. It is crying when you
hold that baby for the first time because somewhere in your memory bank you
remember the day your parents brought her home as if it was yesterday. Family
is looking at your children and feeling ever so grateful for your own parents
because you realize that without them you wouldn’t be the mom you are today.
Family is sitting
around the dinner table and listening to two little boys talk and talk and
talk. It is catching a glimpse of my husband and promising him with my smile
that we will catch up at some point. We will have time to talk to one another
even if it’s as we start to fall asleep. It is listening to the stories that
these little boys are telling us in the hopes that they will never stop talking
to us. Family is a hug in the kitchen to remind us how important we are to each
other and that talking isn’t always necessary, it’s the listening that counts.
Family
settles into the night with a story. It’s a tired mom trying to stay awake
while her six-year-old reads the book because he’s so very proud. It might take
longer but she knows it’s worth it. It’s a dad stressed about his day at work
tomorrow but hiding it so that his nine-year-old can tell him all about the
game he played at recess. Family is those two tired parents making time for one
glass of wine and a five minute adult conversation. It’s a wife telling her
husband not to stress and a husband telling her he’s sorry he has been so busy
lately.
Family is honest.Family shows
up even when you tell them not to. Family drops everything. Family is all in. Always.
With no questions asked. We figure it out, together. We fight loud but we love
big. We get on each other’s nerves. We say sorry. We say I love you. We laugh.
We cry. We celebrate. We grieve. We embrace the mess because somewhere within
that mess lies the beauty of life. And at the end of the day no matter how good
or bad it was we feel safe and happy because of the love of family. So jump in and embrace the beautiful mess. We will catch you if you fall.
This piece was featured on the TODAY Parenting Team
