Before I
became a mother there were things about motherhood I knew everything about (try
to control your laughter) and there were things about motherhood I knew nothing
about. I picked up all the books my friends who were new mothers suggested and
suddenly I knew EVERYTHING there was to know about motherhood. After all I had
read every single book there was to read on the subject of motherhood and I had
a dog so clearly I was an expert. I had been preparing for motherhood for as
long as I could remember and I was beyond ready. I have always been a firm
believer that you don’t just jump into the water before finding out everything
there is to know about said water. (I’m really fun I swear.) So it was my
belief that in order to become a mother I should learn everything possible
about babies and children beforehand. So
I did just that. I didn’t just read books. I asked question after question to
all my friends who were already mothers.
I found out
everything I should be eating and not eating. I found out the best ways to make
sure my baby would sleep through the night. I bought the best products that
were going to help my baby stay happy and engaged throughout the day. I was ready…for a baby right? The funny thing is throughout all the books I
read and questions I asked I never once thought to ask the most important
question: What is the one thing about Motherhood no one told you? I wish I had asked
that because in my opinion you can prepare for labor and for all things baby
like diapering, feeding, rocking, and swaddling but nothing prepares you for
motherhood. Bringing home a baby is just
the beginning of a long journey. Some of it is beautiful and amazing and some
of it is hard and lonely. Here are some things I wish I had known about
motherhood:
1. Motherhood is beautiful and
terrifying all at once.
2. You won’t always be happy as a
mother.
3. You will always love your
child/children but there will be times you don’t like them and that is
completely normal.
4. There will be times you will want to
cry in the corner.
5. There will be times you do cry in the
corner.
6. You will learn you are so much
stronger than you thought.
7. The first time you hear your child
laugh you will find a part of your heart that you didn’t realize existed and it
will make you smile a smile you didn’t know was possible.
8. You will doubt yourself.
9. You will at some point sound like
your mother and it will make you both cringe and giggle.
10. You
will share information with your friends that you never would have thought was
appropriate before kids, things like “OMG I haven’t pooped in at least four
days!”, and “Why are my nipples so sore this kid doesn’t even have teeth yet?”,
and “I’m seriously telling my husband the Dr. said 4 more weeks.” They will
laugh with you, cry with you, and understand you in ways that only a mother
can.
11. You
will do anything for sleep. For example a person who may have said she would
never rock her child in a glider all night just to get some shut eye will do
just that. Hell I would have swung on a swing at 3am by myself in a park to get
my first born to sleep for longer than 1 hour at a time. Seriously!
12. You will learn as you go and that is just
fine. Your kids will somehow think you know what you’re doing, until they’re
teenagers of course and then you are suddenly the biggest idiot on the planet.
13. You will feel judged by others.
14. You will judge others.
15. You will empathize with other mothers in
public. You are now part of the club and sticking together is how we survive.
16.
You
will sit and stare at a wall while your child naps because you haven’t had a
moment to yourself in who knows how long.
17. You will look forward to going to the dentist.
18. You
will feel protective in a way you never thought possible. Hey there mama bear.
19. You will love your spouse in a different way
than you did before you had children.
20. You will learn to let some things go.
21.
You
will sometimes miss who you once were.
22. You
will learn from your children.
23. You will experience love that is all encompassing,
beautiful, terrifying, and endless.
24.
There
will be good days.
25.
There
will be bad days.
26.
There
will be excellent days
27.
There
will be horrible days.
28. You will come out of each day tired but
strong.
29. You
are more prepared for this gig than you give yourself credit for.
30. You are not perfect but neither is the mother
next to you or the one next to her. It is our one commonality.
Motherhood
comes with pressure. It comes with pressure from the people around us but most
of the pressure we feel comes from ourselves. I think motherhood is something
to tackle day by day. I read so many books it was as if I thought I could
prepare for the entire journey before I even had a child. What I’ve learned
along the way is that there is no book that can prepare you for the love you
will feel and the doubt and disappointments you will experience on this
journey.
At the end of the day we all want to raise our
children to be successful and caring adults. Instead of worrying so much about
that though I think we need to stay focused on the here and now. If our
children go to bed feeling loved we are doing our job. The days aren’t all
going to be perfect but that’s life. Motherhood isn’t all rainbows and
butterflies. It’s filled with storms and clouds. It’s because of those storms that
we are able to appreciate the rainbows.
