Five Ways College Prepares You for Parenthood

Remember what life was like in college? I know, lack of sleep has me barely able to remember what I did yesterday but college I can remember.  Ah the care free days of partying with friends, going to class and the biggest stress being where we were going on Thursday night.  Lately I’ve been having a lot of memories of what those days were like and it’s actually funny how having kids can be so similar to those college days. I know what you’re thinking: How on earth can college be similar to raising kids? Well I will tell you: Here are the top 5 reasons having kids is exactly like being in college.

1.     College:  The all-nighter. That’s right you pulled one or 85. You blew off studying all month and then in one night you had to soak in six months of information for your exam the next day. The result:  You were in fact up all night.  You have no one to blame but yourself and beer.  You are not learning a whole semester in one night. You’re screwed!

Parenting: The all-nighter. That’s right you pulled one...times infinity. You had to do it.  No one gave you a choice. Your baby/kids won’t sleep. He or she is teething, having separation anxiety, sick, bad dreams, looking for a binky, wants a unicorn, needs a snack, needs a drink,  wants to read 865 bed time stories, it’s too hot, it’s too cold, they miss you, they heard a something that sounds like a baby deer looking for its mom. You have no one to blame. You’re screwed!

2.     College: The sloppy roommate. Everyone had one. The roommate who couldn’t pick up after themselves. The bathroom was a mess, their room was a mess, the dishes never got done, and if their friends came over you knew the house was going to be completely trashed.

Parenting:  The sloppy roommate.  We all have them. Kids are slobs. They don’t pick up after themselves. They manage to get toothpaste on the walls, the floor, the ceiling and the dog! The dishes are broken and when their friends come over the house looks like a Toys R’ Us gone wild! 

3.     College: The Drunk Idiot.  We all remember the guy or girl who just didn’t know when to say when. The night we had to make sure they got home okay and it never happened without an argument. They would argue they weren’t drunk and they wanted just ONE MORE! They were full of bad decisions that you felt responsible for. No you are not going home with that guy, trust me you do not want to eat a sandwich or anything else from that place next to the bar, yes you are talking too loud, and yup I’m pretty sure you did in fact pee your pants.

Parenting: The Toddler A.K.A The Drunk Idiot. A toddler never knows when to say when. Their whole lives revolve around too much juice followed by too much fun. There is ALWAYS an argument when it comes to sitting in a chair, getting in a car, or acting normal in public. They are always asking for ONE MORE SNACK or ONE MORE CUP OF JUICE and no matter how many times you say no they don’t want to hear it. They puke on themselves more times than you care to have to deal with and they definitely pee their pants on the regular. If it weren’t for college this stage of parenting might in fact do you in.

 

4.     College: The irrational/paranoid friend. Everyone was out to get them. They were the person who showed up to every party or event ready to start a fight. The smallest of things sent them off and there was no getting them back at that point. After an argument with them you would feel completely drained for days.

Parenting: The irrational/paranoid child.  Life isn’t fair. Everyone is out to get them. You are the worst parents on the planet for using the two letter word NO. How dare you say NO! No? Who says NO? After a child/toddler tantrum I feel completely drained for days…okay maybe weeks!

5.     College: The roommate who refuses to allow anyone to hook up EVER. They are somehow always home, or early to bed, or in the middle of watching a movie, are suddenly having 12 of their closest friends over at 1am or worst case scenario are crying in the corner over their latest breakup.

Parenting: Children refuse to sleep in order to prevent you from making any other children.  They are in fact always home, late to bed, early to rise, wake up in the middle of the night, and will cry in the corner on cue.

All joking aside in the end I loved college. It was a short amount of time that I thought would last forever. I spent it with amazing people and  I accomplished more than I realized I could. I don't doubt that parenthood isn't pretty much the same.