The Uninvited House Guests

I’ve always heard about those guests who show up unannounced. No phone call, no text, not even so much as an email asking if you have any plans that may hinder them thinking it’s okay to just show up. I have heard about them. To be honest my family isn’t the show up unannounced kind of family. There is usually always at the very least a text and we live around the corner from each other. I guess living around the corner from your family gives you the guarantee that no one will be showing up with a suitcase and no departure date.

At least that is what I thought. This happened once before but to be honest it was 3 years ago and I guess I forgot all about it. Time has passed and I got too comfortable. I didn’t think they were coming back. I forgot how they show up unannounced when you least expect it and then it happened. BAM! They arrived.  This is no ordinary arrival though. They show up out of the blue when you haven’t seen or talked to them in three whole years and you’re expected to be prepared. You are expected to have the food they like, the drinks they enjoy, their favorite television shows lined up on your DVR, and don’t even get me started on the daily activities to fill their time.

It’s like living in a pressure cooker. The worst part is not only did they show up with suitcases but they showed up with boxes and it pretty much looks like they are moving in permanently. Last time they were here they stayed for 9 long months. When they left I could still feel their presence for months. It was horrible.  I walk on egg shells around them. One minute they are completely happy with your hospitality the next minute they are throwing a fit that this is in fact the worst place they could possibly have to stay.

I am spending my days hoping that the breakfast choices are up to par, the crusts on the lunch sandwiches have been cut properly and don’t even get me started on the dinner menu. It doesn’t seem that I can please them in this arena, not yet anyway.

I spend my mornings making sure the house is clean but to be honest I might as well be throwing flour into a fan. They are such slobs. They take things from places and move them into other places. They leave things everywhere.  If I move something into a place they don’t want well holy hell I will hear about that for hours.

It’s not easy living with house guests who show up unannounced, don’t tell you an estimated departure date and are completely irrational, irritable, and impossible to talk to.

The Terrible Twos have arrived. They have arrived on a clear cut mission and they have no intention of leaving anytime soon. I can tell you this much, they are by far the worst house guests anyone could ever have. Having them here requires way more patience than humanly possible, a full bottle of Advil in the house at all times and of course wine. If the Terrible Twos Family show up at your door I wish you luck.  They are going to settle in quickly so be prepared.  You will not be able to get rid of them until they are good and ready, trust me on this.  
I can tell you however that they will get tired of your house at some point. They will pack up their things and be on their way. You won’t even realize they’re gone right away but once you do you will feel ecstatic. You will feel that way until their cousins the Horrible 3s family knocks on the door but don’t worry you will probably get a 3 week break to recoup some sense of sanity…if you’re lucky.

                                     I said I wanted ham & cheese not PB&J!!!

 

                                   Do you have MORE cake?! OH you better!