When I was
little I remember my grandmother had a sign up in her house that said: “Mother’s
work from son up until son down.” I remember thinking oh how cute and how
dramatic. She also had a sign that said “A woman’s work is never done”. She
REALLY liked signs. As a kid I really didn’t
give much thought to either one of these signs. I read them once or 10 times
and never thought about them again, or so I thought. Fast forward 30
(SOMETHING) years and here I am, a mother and I find myself working from son up
until son down, no that’s not true from son up until I finally go to bed. No
that’s not true either, I work from son up until I finally fall asleep in my bed and hope that said
son(s) don’t get up because of a bad dream, or needing a cup of water or having
to pee because of the cup of water, so yes the second sign was dead on…A woman’s
work is NEVER done!
I’ll let you
in on a secret but please don’t tell anyone, before I had kids I thought being
a stay at home mom was going to be easier. (GASP!! I know.) I pictured myself
to be all June Cleaver(ish), or Carol Brady(ish), or Carol Seaver(ish) or even
Elyse Keaton(ish) but no I am not any of these women. I am more like
crazy(ish). I spend 4 out of 7 days of the week feeling like a hamster on a
wheel. Don’t get me wrong, I chose to be home with my children. I left my
career and wouldn’t have it any other way but sometimes I feel like I am well…this.
So it got me
thinking. Why did my grandmother always seem so happy? Why did she have time to
sit down and watch soap operas or I Love Lucy (I can’t see this show without
thinking of her and I love it) This is a woman who had 9 children!!! That’s
right 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 CHILDREN!!! She was always relaxed at family
parties, and when I say relaxed I mean hanging out at the dining room table
laughing (belly laughing) with all the adults. She wasn’t running around the
kitchen with her head cut off or chasing kids anywhere. No sir she was enjoying
the company at her home. Man how I wish she was still alive so I could ask her
how she did it, but she’s not. So here are the ten reasons I think she would
tell me that mothers of today are OUT OF OUR MINDS!!
1) Your house cannot nor should it look
like a page out of Pottery Barn when you have kids under the age of 10. Stop
putting pressure on yourselves to make your homes look unrealistically good.
You have little kids embrace the mess!
2) Get off of Pinterest. No really STOP
looking at cupcakes you should make from scratch, wallpaper you should hang
yourself, and photo albums you should be making. Really just stop.
3) Stop over-scheduling your kids. The number
of activities your child participates in should not be the same as his or her
age. It’s silly. Give them a ball, send them outside and call it a day.
4) Not every waking moment of your child’s
life needs to be a “teachable” moment. It’s okay if breakfast is just a meal
you all eat and you don’t practice the ABC’s, algebra & quantum
physics. He’s in kindergarten there’s
still time.
5) WTF is a play date??! (Ok my
grandmother would have never said WTF) but still she would have asked what
exactly is a play date dear? Why do we have to plan time for our children to
PLAY? Why can’t kids just play? Why can’t we be normal and call it what it is…play
time. It’s not a date. It’s playing. No one in this house is dating until at
least 15.
6) Stop cleaning. Just stop. Okay don’t
completely stop because that would just be gross but my grandmother definitely
did not obsess about her floors like I do. She probably didn’t really care when
there were 4 boxes of cereal on the table from breakfast right before dinner.
She had 9 kids and nobody has time for cereal boxes with 9 kids. No I’m not
buying it if anyone says they do.
7) What is this workout you are trying
to fit in? Ok ladies I would have fought her a little on this one because I’ll
be honest my run whether 20 minutes, an hour or the rare times it longer than
that is good for me. It de-stresses me, it makes me see and think clearly again
and I need it. However we need to let go of trying to work out until we fit
into some stupid pants we bought or to fit into some image we see in a
magazine. My Grandmother would have said: If Victoria’s Secret hasn’t called yet they
aren’t calling so just stop. Then she would have said those women should really
cover up their tushes.
8) Enjoy the simple things. Why are you
all working so hard for a nicer car, a bigger house, 4 vacations, and a better
wardrobe? Your kids don’t care about any of this. Stop trying to keep up with
the Jones’ because guess what they are over extended and in a crap load of
debt. Take the kids in the backyard with a tent, make some smores and watch the
memories unfold. No really, do it!
9) Stop giving your kids everything they
want &/or ask for! (oh but Grandma all the other kids have an IPhone &
a TV in their room) No child needs any of that and no child will EVER
appreciate the amount of work it takes to get those things if they are handed
to them. I come from a generation of 1 TV
and the kids didn’t get to pick what we watched. No sir!
10) Why are you having a discussion with
your four year old about why they are talking back to you? Hmm good question
Grandma. Some things are meant to be discussed but when you ask your child to
go wash his hands before dinner it’s not a discussion. Do it and be done with
it. ( I need to get better at this one)
The days are
long, really long. Men work longer hours than they did back in my
grandmother’s time. Women work and take care of the kids and time together
seems to be less and less. Let’s bring it back old school. Cancel a play date
this weekend, keep them home from soccer, put the vacuum down, and just get out
as a family. Go fly a kite, catch a fish, go for a walk, or pack a picnic. You
will see a side of your child(ren) that will surprise you. It will surprise you
in a good old fashioned I Love Lucy belly laugh way. Find joy in the simplicity. Thanks Grandma.
She may not still be around, but her values and lessons are. That's how we keep our loved ones alive in our lives.
ReplyDeleteGreat thoughts, great post.
Oh how true that is. Thank you Karen! :)
DeleteOMG - The cupcakes made me almost pee in my pants - I was laughing that hard. And the rest of it is awesome perfect excellent advice. I am going to take you up on finding some time to do something fun this weekend. It's so awesome when we get those moments with our children - when we experience true joy without the stress.
ReplyDeleteOh - I just saw me on your blog roll over there - for some reason, when I updated (4 weeks ago apparently), people now have to link to my feed instead of my home page (sorry). Would you mind linking it to feed://feeds.feedburner.com/findingninee/uQhU
Thanks! And awesome post. And I need to make a blogroll.
Thank you Kristi. Glad I made you laugh. ;) I will definitely change it to your feed, no problem at all.
DeleteThis is awesome. A woman after my own heart!
ReplyDeleteNumber 10 is so so true, not everything is a discussion! I fall into that trap a lot :) And number 8, let me tell ya, us moms of big families don't care about cereal boxes. I figure if they're still there at dinner time, then it's almost time for breakfast again so might as well leave em there!
ReplyDelete