My Village

I've been missing from my blog recently. My Grandmother is very ill and in the hospital. As a family we have pulled together and made spending time with her our number one priority. Many of you have reached out to me on my Facebook page and I want to thank you for your support, prayers and well wishes. I am re-posting a post I wrote this past Mother's Day. To me it encompasses exactly who my grandmother is to me because without her wisdom, her experience and her love I wouldn't be half the mom I am today. This is for her.

It’s Mother’s Day and I could get all sappy and mushy and write all about what being a mom means to me. I could, but I won’t, not because it doesn’t mean a lot to me because anyone who knows me or reads my blog, or my Twitter or my Facebook knows that I love my kids. They make me laugh, they make me cry but they make me who I am and I wouldn’t change it for anything. Instead I would like to dedicate this post to all the people in my life who made the transition from normalcy to motherhood better for me. To all those who have helped me, laughed with me not at me, cried with me, empathized with me, shared a glass or 8 of wine with me, and so on and so on.  I like to refer to “these people” as my village. I have always heard the saying it takes a village to raise a child, but I like to look at it like it takes a village to support a good mom to raise a child.

As moms we all need our village and it doesn’t mean the same thing for all of us but we all know who they are. They are the people we lean on. They are the people we complain to about our bad days and celebrate with on our good ones. They are the people you talk to about things you never imagined talking about…EVER. They are the people who tell you this stage will pass, or ask you how on earth you managed something so they too can do it. They are your people and without them life would be so much harder.

I remember when I had my oldest son. I was THAT mom. You know the one who had everything planned out. The one who thought well I’m going to have this adorable baby, come home get up every couple of hours blissfully breastfeed, go back to bed and get up, shower look great etc. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA do you hear that? Yeah that’s the universe laughing its ass off at my naivety.  I leaned on many after my stubborn attitude of I can do this myself subsided. I slowly started to learn that there were women in my life that had done this, done it well and they were there for me. I also learned that there were women in my life who were going through it with me and we were there for each other. There were women in my life that didn’t have children yet and guess what they were sometimes the BEST voice of reason for me. (They know who they are).

Being a mom is not all rainbows & butterflies, no sir. It’s exhaustion like you’ve never experienced, it’s poop on your face all day, no shower, yoga pant wearing trips to the grocery store for baby gas relief. It can sometimes feel like you are on an island all by yourself. Only it’s not a warm tropical relaxing island. No it’s an island with two screaming kids, no help, no time for sleep, no drinks with umbrellas island. The sooner you learn to invite other boats to your island the better.  When moms get together it’s always a good time. We make each other laugh. We make each other shout THANK GOD I AM NOT THE ONLY ONE. It’s invigorating. It’s how we survive.

There have been times as a mom that I have gotten into bed at night and thought to myself if someone had told me 10 years ago that, that was going to happen I would have bet money against it. There is something about becoming a mother that makes things that would have once been a big deal in life seem so small.  Shame? What is shame? I think I lost that when every nurse and intern under the sun was coming in to check just how dilated I was.  Since having my oldest son I have allowed my best friend of over 20 years to maneuver my boob in the hopes of getting my newborn latched on. (not something I ever thought we’d be doing together). I have cried to my sister and my mother on days I felt I failed as a mother. I have called my best friend from college in the hopes of her calm way of looking at life rubbing off on me. I have celebrated peeing on a stick and seeing the plus sign with my village of girls, I have celebrated baptisms, 1^st birthdays, potty training, preschool graduations, and holidays with my village. I have cried and leaned on them through miscarriages, first fevers, trips to the emergency room and everything in between.

I have laughed until I cried about pregnancy stories, labor stories, feeding stories, potty training and all the funny stuff that comes along with this ride we are on. I have been rescued by my single girls for much needed girls nights out. I have been very lucky. My village consists of my sister, my mother, my grandmother, and my cousins (who are more like sisters) my Aunt’s, and my girlfriends, new and old. On Mother’s Day I am reminded of just how much these women mean to me.  They remind me that raising a child is not just about the family living under one roof. My husband and I make a great team but a team never has as much fun without a village cheering them on from the sidelines. My girls cheer me on, cheer me up, make me laugh, and allow me to cry. So on Mother’s Day I want to say thank you ladies, from the bottom of my heart thank you.